[CLOSED] ASK...HARLEY QUINN! Weekly Advice Column Submission Thread

[CLOSED] Need Some Advice? Ask Dr. Harleen Quinzel Herself!

Thanks to everyone who submitted their deepest or silliest concerns for Dr. Harleen Quinzel to take on! We hope you learned a little something along the way. To see all of her fantabulous advice, check out her columns here:


Hey there DC Universe puddins!! Harley Quinn here to give you all the AMAZIN’ advice y’been searchin’ for all yer dumbass lives! Go ahead an’ spill all a’ yer troubles in the comments below, an’ I’ll getcha set up real nice advice-wise in my own weekly column, comin’ soon to this cute li’l site’s News page!

  • Ever wonder how ta get that crush a’yers ta notice ya?
  • Or how ta get yer folks off yer back?
  • Or how ta make the best breakfast sammich ever?

An’ hey, look – yeah, I’m a psychiatrist with an MD, but it ain’t my fault if ya don’t get my advice right, okay? Y’gotta take RESPONSIBILITY for any crap y’get yer own sorry asses mixed up in. I’m just dishin’ it out, but no way I gotta clean up your messes, got it? Good! Then let’s get started, wha’dya say?

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How many licks does it take to reach the center of a tootsie pop?

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Dear Dr. Quinn,

How can I get my peers to take my research into uncovering the grand global conspiracy more seriously? Every time I show them my strings and corkboards connecting K-Pop boy bands to the Bilderberg group, they simply glaze over until I’m finished talking. Is there any hope for me to open their eyes before it’s too late?

Sincerely,

Forlorn and Faceless in Hub City, USA

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How do I be as cool as you Harley?

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Hey Harley, nice to see you’ll be gracing DCU with your… ehem… wisdom.

Any general advice on how to be a badass? How one gets what they want, when they want it?

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Dear Dr. Quinn,
Are you a medicine woman?
Travis Morgan

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Dr. When will you destroy the foul desecration known as Punchline?

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How many times a day does Kite man say hell yeah?

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Oh my I’m all a flutter !!!

Who’s your hair stylist? Try as I may I can never finda good one …

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As an acclaimed comic book, TV and film star, how are you able to manage your time amidst your busy schedule?

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I need extra help with that first one, she likes both males and females but I think prefers females which is a problem as I am a male. However, this may not be needed anymore, but I’m not sure…

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What do you really think about Batman?

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Hi Harley! Do you do autographs? I’d love you to sign my Black Label Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey.

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My husband thinks he is hilarious, but he tells lame dad jokes. If I don’t laugh, he explains how it’s funny. Should I fake laugh to avoid the overkill or punch him before the punchline?

-Laughless in St. Louis

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Just in case anyone is wondering, I am not @WonderWoman_85’s husband.

DC Dad Jokes

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Dear Harley,

  My pants are tight, but I haven't gained weight.  What's the deal?

-Pudgy in Peoria

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Hi Harley, you must’ve got this idea from your first appearance on The Batman episode doing a talk show!
My question is I’ve been addicted to the internet for many years, I’ve been spending way to much time on this board. How do I get rid of my addiction? Please help.:frowning:

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Hug your husband and say, “dear, your not funny. But I love you enough to say. Puns are better.”

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So you can write prescriptions…

Dr. Quinn,

With crushing student loan debt, I am looking for ways to make more money - any advice?

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Hey, Dr. Quinn! I have a few questions for you:

  1. Is it wrong to crush on a comic character (by the way, I do have a job and hobbies that fill my…uh, I mean the hypothetical person I’m talking about does)?

  2. If you and Crazy Jane got into a fight, who would win and why?

  3. Has Ivy considered dating Swamp Thing?

And last but not least, if things don’t work out for Ivy with Kite Man, have her get in touch with me. :wink:

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