[CLOSED] ASK...HARLEY QUINN! Weekly Advice Column Submission Thread

Dear Dr. Quinn,
What is your professional opinion of what to do if a 8-10 year old see his parents shot in front of him?

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Hello Dr. Quinzell. I don’t know much about you, except that you’re a psychologist. I am too. I have trouble telling the truth, but that’s a lie. Sorry. I don’t know how to relate to people. Someone will say hello to me, and one moment I want to kiss them, the next moment I wonder how they would look strapped to the back of a rocket.

I really am a nice guy. I open doors for people. I pick up things they drop. I can’t always help it if the door slips out of my hand just in time to knock out a tooth or two, or if I trip and that item I picked up gets jammed into their mouths. It just happens

You have beautiful eyes. I like eyes. They are so colorful, round, and moist. That reminds me. I have something on the stove. I must go. I don’t know if I really need any help or not, but your late father once suggested I see you.

Have a fun day.
I plan to.

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I’m not Dr. Quinn, but I think a loaded shotgun would come in very handy in this situation. Hope I helped.

Hey, Doc? I got’s problems. People think that I’m a “ninja,” who speakers Russian and rights in dwarvish. Can you tell me what I am?

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Hey Harley!
As a fellow crazy person and romantic I was hoping you could help me out. How do I flirt with people? I don’t know what I’m doing and I get so nervous around attractive people that I just end up either staying quiet or making a fool of myself. I’d appreciate any advice you can give on the subject.

TheStrangeRomantic

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Woot!! She answered me. I like her advice actually. As crazy as it seems, I think writing my own comic and self publishing would be very beneficial. I think I should have specified that I wanted to get in with DC by writing scripts for TV and film, not comics. Still, I’m glad she replied and I got some interesting and useful advice. I should make my own comic.

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What’s Up, Doc?

So, here’s the problem: I’ve got a cousin getting married in a couple of months, and we’ve never been close. He grew up rich, I didn’t, and we’ve never been able to relate to each other as a result. We’re close enough to the wedding that I thought I wouldn’t get invited, and I was relieved. But he just asked for my address, so I think an invitation’s coming after all, and in his world, invitations always come with a +1. Not only am I not seeing anyone, I don’t date. I don’t even believe in romantic love, so I don’t really want to start either. But I know it’ll be some scandal among the extended family if I come alone, so what am I supposed to do? I have friends I could ask, but they don’t really believe my attitudes towards love—they think I’m trying to cover up a crush on them—so I don’t expect them to say yes.

Anyway, sorry for the long message. If you’re kind enough to help, feel free to edit this however you need.

Thanks,
(Potentially) Aromantic Po’Boy

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For an art class project, I painted this wicked horror portrait of a vampire teddy bear with glowing red eyes standing over a dozen pretty broken dolls in a dark playroom. The teacher said it was unnerving, but I got a good grade and took the painting home to hang in my room. Lately I’ve been hearing the teddy bear vampire’s voice in my head, commanding me to drink absinthe. I have no idea where to find good absinthe. Any advice?

Sincerely,
Artis Gratia

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Hello Dr. Quinn,

I’ve been missing my ex lately, I ruined things between us. Any advice to get over someone?

Ortega807

p.s. : I’m such a big fan of you and what you do! You and your comics have helped me with a lot, when I’m feeling down they’re right there to cheer me up! So thank you so much for that.

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Hey Doctor,
I miss my ex a lot. Her parents (not so) subtly pulled her out of our school to break us up. I’m still pretty young but I’m pretty mature and was fine with it up until I saw her on TV. What do I do whenever I see her commercial?

Hey Harley, I have a crush on this guy, but he’s dating another girl. The thing is, he admitted to having a crush on me too over text, and now we never talk about it! I don’t know what to do, if you could help me out, that’d be great

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Hello Harley, :harley_smilehqtas:
I’m so obsessed with hitting the like button so many times a day, should I keep hitting many likes I can or limit myself? Thankyou.

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Doctor Harley,

A couple of months ago I got out of a relationship with who I thought was my soulmate. We clicked on every level. But, she ghosted me, stole some things from me, and started claiming I cheated on her and physically abused her (both of which I would never do). So I don’t have any connection to her anymore. Couldn’t care less about her, but now I am single and looking again. Problem is, I seen too just feel numb when talking to most women…

Is there a reason for this? Or am I just insane?

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Dear Dr. Quinn,
I have been rather reckless with my money lately. Any advice?
Max H.

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Which one do you like better, the bat or the mallet?

Sincerely,
Your #1 Fan

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@afscarpino sorry for your Lose it sucks I lost my Mom unexpectedly last October. It is
Still hard but time does help you feel better.

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Hey Harley!

Big fan! So I have not been in a solid relationship for years (or technically ever) and feel a little lonely because of it. I’m not sure about when to fully ask someone out and by the time I feel comfortable with someone, they have moved on or don’t like me in the same way. What should I do about this?

Thanks Dr. Quinn!

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Dear Dr.Quinzel,
As you know love is a messy area, and I feel that every turn i take is met with rejection. But I met this gal and I think she’s special and I want it to work out. So I guess my question is how?

Love and kisses,
PotatoG.O.D

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Dear Dr. Quinn,

Big fan but also wanted to get some career advice. Graduating high school, I wanted to be a psychologist but I also wanted to be a writer. I am a writer, but now I’m regretting that path and have debating going back to college to do what I wanted to do in the first place.

Best regards,

Ren

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Dear Harley,
My husband left me for someone else how do I get revenge and get over it?

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