The Truth About Darkseid

I was looking through google Darkseid’s Facebook account and discovered that he moonlights as a fashion designer. Moonlights being the key word as he only makes pajamas because:

“Pajamas are cute and cuddly and make me feel all warm inside. They keep me safe from scary monsters at night and are made with love.” - Darkseid

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You left out the back of the shirt though

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Here are ten minutes of Darkseid being rejected by Wonder Woman, with a brief intermission in which he loses an auction to a man with no pants

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The nation is stunned by Darkseid’s revelations

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I now want a sitcom where Darkseid is kicked out of Apokolips and must conform to living in the suburbs in Minnesota. He joins the PTA, goes to backyard barbecues, and joins the dating scene. He joins a tech company, but soon loses his job as younger are hired and he gets phased out. He makes a 401(k) plan, and gets a mortgage. Darkseid is eventually invited back to Apokolips, but decides to continue his quiet life in Minnesota. :blush:

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give that the GREEN LIGHT!

now here’s Darkseid being clowned on by a little boy whose power is that he can turn into a pig

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an artist’s depiction of Darkseid’s tearful rejection from the Legion of Superheroes. (The belt didn’t even fit.)

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Darkseid’s angry side is exposed on occasion with his frustrations with the Minnesota Vikings. So much so, he daydreams of attacking Green Bay with Parademons.

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He just can’t get past this guy

tenor (13)

Thwarted every time!

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Mrs Darkseid thought her big lovable hubby had really learned to embrace the Christmas spirit this year, until he actually turned the lights on.

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Alright, I know this isn’t really in line with the jokey spirit of the thread, but in Kirby, Darkseid legitimately never gets into a fist fight. The cover of New Gods vol 2 # 6 shows him fighting Orion, but what happens when we actually get to that fight? Darkseid dives out of the way as a firing squad turns Orion into Swiss Cheese. He has a ton of powerful henchmen to do his bidding, but he NEVER used to fight anyone! He just hides behind his Omega vision and his henchmen, and that’s IT.

Later creators who wrote or drew Darkseid fighting the whole Justice League have missed this crucial detail! Darkseid doesn’t have fighting prowess, he’s just really good at hyping himself up! He told the world that he was “The Tiger Force at the Core of All Things,” and we drank his Kool-Aid, man! We fell for his propaganda!

So I guess I’m saying “I agree with this thread, but UNIRONICALLY.”

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Truly EXPLOSIVE information and an invaluable addition to this profile, Anonymous, thank you.

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